For this semester, I truly set out to make myself more comfortable with my own face. I felt tired of being insecure, tired of putting on my mask, and tired of comparing my own blemishes to the-lack-thereof on the faces of those around me.
I abandoned my habit of wearing a facefull of makeup each day, a feat that still shakes me when getting dressed in the morning. I decided to only paint my own face for the duration of the term, forcing myself to find solace and beauty in each brushstroke and detail.
I implement emblems of black culture into my work as well, inherently because these are the things I consume on a daily basis and therefore a part of me. There are also images that evoke the reminiscence of childhood, vacation and dreams. I wanted my artwork to be as saturated and multifaceted as my own mind, and was reminded of a poem I wrote in a piece for AP studio art in high school. It read:
Do not deplete the wealth of my mind due to the color of my skin
My soul is multichromatic
Rich with reflections of the society that bore me
Flourishing with flowers that grow from the seeds my ancestors planted within me
My patriotism is unapologetic.
Subconsciously, I have kept this poem present in all of my works since I first wrote it. Now, it rings out almost like a meditative mantra in my head, and I am reminded of my own prose each day I rise and complete my morning rituals. It is a reminder to keep my own authentic self alive and well, even through toiling with the demonesque anxieties that burden me. Art is my mediation, and my word is my chant; vibrating and emulating out of each piece I resolve.